As a survivor of domestic violence, sexual assault, sexual
abuse, and reproductive coercion I find it offensive that anyone would force a
sexual assault victim to carry a pregnancy to term. Taking away a woman's
bodily autonomy when she has already been victimized in one of the worst ways is
an extreme form of physical and emotional abuse. To afford more respect and
rights to a bundle of cells that resulted from a sexual assault than to the
sexual assault victim herself is an insult and an affront to all women. To
further shame women who choose to terminate their pregnancies just perpetuates
the violence. Being forced to carry the product of your rape for 9 months can
be an excruciatingly difficult and traumatic experience. The pregnancy is a
constant reminder of a traumatic event that sometimes you wish you could just
stop thinking about. No one should choose a trauma survivor's path for them.
The path must be up to them, the choices must belong to them. The survivor has
already had so much taken away from them. Their life is forever altered. I just
cannot comprehend why anyone would want to continue to take, and to shame, and
to blame, and to force.
A favorite statement from "pro-life" individuals
is that they "know someone" who was raped, who carried their
pregnancy to term, and who now love their child. Of course this happens, and
of course a woman should be able to choose to carry the pregnancy to term.
But she should also have the choice to terminate the pregnancy if it would be
detrimental for her to move forward with it. "Pro-life." The people
who scream and carry on about the evils of abortion and the importance of life
oftentimes fail to consider the very real pain that a pregnant rape survivor
faces. "Pro-life" only applies when you're an embryo or fetus. Once
you're born your rights are taken away. If you are a woman you lose control of
your own body, and the right to do with it what you wish. The victimization and
the re-victimization must stop. The spreading of false science and propaganda
to sway people's decisions about their own health care must stop. The violence against
women needs to stop.
The religious right claims to value all lives, but what they really mean is that they value their attempts to control, demean, demoralize, shame, and blame women. What strikes me as especially sad is when other women are complicit in the inherent misogyny that is a natural by-product of our patriarchal society. A community should stand together to support victims of sexual assault, not blame them for being victims, not afford more rights to the perpetrator or to the product of the sexual assault than to the victim, not perpetuate the violent act. According to the NIJ and the CDC 1 in 6 women will be the victim of a sexual assault or an attempted sexual assault. Every one of us either is a sexual assault/attempted sexual assault survivor or knows at least one sexual assault/attempted sexual assault survivor. Wouldn't it be great if we could all have an open dialog about sexual assault that doesn't involve blaming, shaming, or abusive behavior?
